So I think I've finally made my peace with the whole Brian thing.
I've been "dating" this girl for 2 weeks and I really like her. We make each other really happy. So we'll see where that goes.
I'm stuck at work for 5 more hours (been here for 3) so I'm bored as hell. Can't watch videos, listen to music, chat online, have friends sit near me, go on facebook or myspace, or play games.
Gaaaaah.
Plus I'm really tired from staying up late with my ... lady... friend? I don't think we're in a relationship yet but we've talked about it and we think we will be eventually. Don't worry we weren't "doing anything"... just making out in a parking lot
Anyway, I've also been losing weight slowly but steadily so this is good and...
hmm what else... 3 more weeks until I'm in my new apartment! official move-in date is July 28th so only 20 days left! What makes me mad is my property managers wont let me move in till 2pm. gahh i want to have all day to move in! my dad's going to help me lift the heavy stuff (I have two flights of stairs to go up) like my couch, tv (its a big CRT heavy tv), bed, and kitchen table which is this huge long heavy wood table the size of a twin bed. At least my bed is full sized, enough for two people
it took some heavy convincing to my dad to let me get a full size. I told him I fall out of the smaller ones. lol. its my money anyway... I've only spent just under $1000 total on everything i need for my apartment, and I basically started from scratch furniture and supply wise so thats pretty good. I shopped at walmart, goodwill, and salvation army for the most part. sorry for the list but I'm very proud of myself. My parents were pretty generous and gave me a few pieces as early b-day gifts... they just want me out of the house lol
For $1000 I got:
-A love seat couch (two person) @ Salvation Army, $30
-A 20" CRT TV w/ built in DVD player @ Walmart $200
-2 7-drawer vertical shelving units @ Walmart $40
-a small desk @ Goodwill $5
-a TV cart @ Salvation Army $15
-A nightstand with 2 drawers @ Salvation Army $5
-A 6 drawer dresser ... already had it
-A bed frame and full size mattress and box springs @ Goodwill, $120
(did not come with headboard and footboard D: )
-Large kitchen table with 4 matching chairs @ Salvation Army, gift from Mom
-medium size ornate wooden chest from Pier One, gift from Mom
-small 2-shelf bookshelf @ Salvation Army $5
-small end-table @ Goodwill $5
-black lamp with red shade @ Walmart, $20
-black CD holder lamp.... already had it
-black lamp with gray shade @ Goodwill, $10
-Welcome mat, bathmat, laundry hamper, and big trash bin all @ walmart, $35
-Clorox Readymop, toilet bowl cleaner&
lunger, @ walmart, $25
-Gorgeous ornate wood coffee table w/ storage, @ Goodwill, $10
-office spinny chair, lol, @ office max.... already had it
-microwave @ walmart $60
-Vacuum Cleaner at Target $50
-various other stuff for apartment from cleaning products, to toiletries, etc. Some was just stuff I needed like shampoo... etc. laundry stuff... fan... and so on. $350 mostly from walmart/target
There are still a few things I need like a week worth of groceries, maybe a shower curtain and maybe an in-bath tub mat... but I don't know yet, I don't get to see the actual empty apartment till July 28th. The one I previewed was downstairs in a diff part of the complex but according to the property managers, they look the same.
It has a walk in closet
, about 512 sq. feet, one bedroom one bath, living room and kitchenette with pantry. no dishwasher but oven and electric appliances, fridge, etc. Can't put anything on the walls. Not tacky gum, not tape, not even Scotch Command Tabs. Nothing. grrrr. oh well.
My theme is black and red. In the process of painting all my wood furniture black. the cabinets I can't paint but oh well, they just won't match. then black and red comforter pillowcases and sheets, black slipcover for couch, a few owl figurines for decoration (I'm obsessed with owls), a red throw blanket for couch, I'm making black swirly slipcovers for my dining chair cushions and cute red and black magnets for the frige. I'm going to figure out a way to make a decal for the outside of my door with a raven perched atop the doorframe and the word "Nevermore" its a reference to The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. The reason for the bird atop the door frame?
"Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'"
~my favorite part of The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe.
What a fabulous poem
I'm also thinking of doing a tribute to two of my other favorite poems, "Departure" by Edna St Vincent Millay and "Charge of the Light Brigade by Lord Alfred Tennyson.
" It's little I care what path I take,
And where it leads it's little I care;
But out of this house, lest my heart break,
I must go, and off somewhere.
It's little I know what's in my heart,
What's in my mind it's little I know,
But there's that in me must up and start,
And it's little I care where my feet go.
I wish I could walk for a day and a night,
And find me at dawn in a desolate place
With never the rut of a road in sight,
Nor the roof
of a house, nor the eyes of a face.
I wish I could walk till my blood should spout,
And drop me, never to stir again,
On a shore that is wide, for the tide is out,
And the weedy rocks are bare to the rain.
But dump or dock, where the path I take
Brings up, it's little enough I care;
And it's little I'd mind the fuss they'll make,
Huddled dead in a ditch somewhere.
"Is something the matter, dear," she said,
"That you sit at your work so silently?"
"No, mother, no, 'twas a knot in my thread.
There goes the kettle, I'll make the tea."
~Edna St Vincent Millay
"Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
2.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
3.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.
4.
Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.
5.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.
6.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred. "
~Lord Alfred Tennyson
So yeah I dunno what I'm doing with those yet. I want to do something with Sylvia Plath in the kitchen too...I guess in the kitchen because that's where she killed herself. kind of morbid actually. although she would've liked that. My favorite line of hers is "A bone-white light, like death" but that doesn't exactly inspire cooking.
Then maybe something with Robert Frost on the bathroom door although I'll have to pick from my four favorite poems of his... "Ocean," "Fire and Ice," "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," and "The Road Not Taken."
Either near my bed or near my desk it might be nice to do something with the line "And miles to go before I sleep" which is the ending of "Stopping By Woods on A Snowy Evening"
And Oh, what about The Bells By Edgar Allen Poe! I loved this poem so much when I was younger, I must figure out a way to tribute this...
If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I love feedback, too.
Anyway,
I've been stuck in my parents house since spring semester ended so I'm very anxious. The first week I live there two of my friends (a straight couple) are going to be staying with my as their apartment lease runs out before their new one starts so I'm letting them use me as a hotel, and they're going to cook for me in return
its a good trade off.
Then my lady friend and I are planning to "break in" every room of the apartment when they leave, hehe.
So that's all very exciting.
Updates on piercings and such...
Took out my lip ring. Got tired of it.
Took out my septum... didn't like it anymore mostly because I never showed it anymore, just kept the retainer flipped up and I was so tired of having to adjust it all the time and people thinking I'm picking my nose. plus it liked to flip down at inopportune times like sneezing or kissing. I think I already posted that I took out my eyebrow bars because they just wouldn't heal. Left some nice scars they did.
Also not stretching my ears for a while... just giving them a break, maybe till 2010. As far as my tongue goes... Its currently at a 6g and I'm having trouble moving to 4g but since I'm not going to split until I turn 21 or so, that shouldn't be a problem. Hell I don't even know IF I'll split anymore... That's why I'm giving myself 2 years to be sure I really want it.
I have one more touch up to go (hopefully) on my flag tattoo. I was supposed to go in to get it a week ago but it still looks too shiny to me. It has to be healed up otherwise I'll get lumpy scar tissue which never looks good. I can be patient though.
Hopefully before school starts I'll have enough money to get the ankle tattoo. should only be between $50 and $75 but who knows if I'll have enough as my summer work hours are limited and I have other expenses such as rent, food, internet bill, electric bill, and phone bill.
Got a new phone! Before I had the Samsung Glyde for about 10 months. Piece of shit. Touch screen was highly insensitive and I couldn't hear anyone unless they were on speaker phone.
So I got the LG EnV3 and its FABULOUS! I can HEAR PEOPLE! the speaker phone isn't that loud but I don't like to use speaker phone anyway because I like privacy. The voice clarity is AWESOME and the keyboard layout is better than the Glyde. I also like how instead of sliding open, it opens up sideways like a flip phone, so no opening up and dialing in my pocket. it came with a cool ringtone called Evening Crow so I use that which is way nicer than having to buy or make my own ringtones. It has a 3 megapixel camera/recorder so that's better.
It was $215. eww... but there's a $50 rebate that I need to send in... I have until September... I'm just being lazy.
I got a rerally pretty white and pink flowery case for it and a couple of screen protectors for the inside and outside screens.
I also changed my plan.
The sales guy approached me about it when we were setting up the new phone. He told me he didn't know why but I was paying for features that I never used on my phone. I was paying something like $68 (I had a discount from University) for 1500 texts, 450 anytime minutes, and unlimited data, except I didn't know I had unlimited data. I was paying for it for 10 months and I never used the internet on my phone because I thought it cost me money! GRRR!
DOH! He said he wasn't sure why I was paying more for fewer texts so we "downgraded" to a plan that's like... $57 I think, and that's unlimited text, 450 anytime minutes, and unlimited data. Hooray! I've already gone through 1000 texts within a week of having the phone lol! its so much fun to use, plus my lady friend is a text whore, but that's ok, so am I ;D
So yeah sorry to bore you all with this stuff... but... its my journal and I'm bored, lol.
I dress really girly now. I'm at work so its warranted, but even outside of work...
Right now I'm wearing a frilly turquoise empire waist wrap top, black and white polkadot (more subtle than it sounds) dress slacks, red high heels and GASP lipstick.
I wear a lot more dresses and skirts and I actually emphasize my boobs.
I don't know if I've suddenly become O.K. with my gender or what, but I like the way I dress. Makes me look a lot thinner, that's for sure. *shrug*
I've also gotten into video games recently. I've unlocked all the levels and I have something like 70 pro points but I haven't beaten all of the levels yet. I'm playing on pc through gametap anyway. Trying oh-so hard to beat College, the first level but I can't get Ollie the Bum's pink elephants and I also can't get the one where you have to knock down 5 jocks in one combo in the stadium. everytime I grind 3 on one rail, I know you're supposed to ollie off into a manual, make a sharp turn and grind two more but I haven't been able to do it yet and I have my manual stats up all the way. I also tried doing it where I grind off the rail, and manual into a flip or grab trick on the quarter pipe, then revert coming down into a shorter manual and then ollie up into a grind but I haven't been able to do that either. GAAAH this level is annoying. I've got 7 goals left in San Francisco, 4 in Alcatraz, 8 in Shipyard, 9 in Kona, 12 in London, 12 in Chicago, 13 in Carnival, and 6 in Zoo. gah my math is off but oh well.
any advice with the College goals would be much appreciated.
I know with Ollie's pink elephants that you're supposed to combo them all because then you'll have unlimited time as long as you keep the combo and don't bail but I have to get over those stupid walls in the sewer, I know I'm supposed to spine transfer but I'm TERRIBLE and spine transfers. It took me like 20 tries to get that black photographer's spine transfer goal earlier in the level.
*frustration*
ANYWAY...
Been spending every day with my friend Tiana and my lady friend who I met through her because they've been best friends for 6 years. Going to see them again tonight
going to step outside of the lab to eat my nutragrain bar in a few minutes. yeah its nasty but it was the only thing that looked edible in the house o.O
hmmm this is a long entry. sorry for the ranting.
gotta go figure out some way to waste more time on the internets.
Later
Z
doing better
and my parents like him 
Attraction
Shame
Yearning
Happy
Homicidal
